The Girl Trapped Behind the Closet Door

Location

I stand on stage, on a pedistal. Senior Royalty in a Kingdom of High School

To them, I'm Miss Perfect 

Walk down the halls and see a million faces, the biggest smile on mine

Perfect GPA, Perfect boyfriend, Perfect high school senior, the world at her feet

Golden girl

So they think. But I see what I am. A cheap imitation, only painted golden, and lately, I can feel my paint chipping away.

The Golden Exterior is flaking off, and I fear with a single tear drop of remmeberance, of mourning over the Little Girl Lost, the cheap golden pant will desintigrate away, revealing the broken manequin underneath. 

Perfection comes at a cost.

A cost I paid.

I stand on stage. My whole life I stand on stage. Lead role in every production, no one suspecting every day is a production for me. My whole life from the Evil Day has been a production. A production in which I have no choice but be the lead.

As I stand behind that red velvet curtain, I become keenly away of the other curtain I stand shivering behind. 

A foggy veil of what happened then. Of what happened when I was too young.

Princesses, purple tutus, my head filled with songs of happily ever after. 

At just six years old, it was yanked away, Perfection ripped out of my hands. 

The words he whispered in my ear sent my songs of happiness streaming out on the cold wind, Princesses turned to shrieking Ghosts, fleeing the evil he spilled into my little head. 

Behind the closet door. I stand. He stands. 

And Perfection slid away.

The older boy took the Girl Too Young, and stole youth away from her. Woe to the innocent

Behind the Closet Door, corruption.

From the Evil Day on, I stood on stage. Now, the songs twisted from sunflower melodies to tears wept over circumstances I didn't understand. 

Every day, my head was filled with gruesome scenes of the World's madness. Behind the Closet Door, evilness was thrust upon me. And I was trapped. My own little mind a breeding ground for scary scenes I couldn't shake. 

A burden greater than any grown woman could handle haunted a little girl. 

Lured to the Closet Door by the Big Bad Wolf, I found myself lost in an evil wood, every tree a sinister sneer wishing woe upon me. 

Yet, on the outside, I stood on stage, projecting to everyone the flickering image of the Perfect girl. An illusion. I was still Trapped Behind the Closet Door. 

And I wanted out. 

Bath time. Mother watching me, checking on her princess in the warm, soothing water. A scene of love and comfort shattered when the angel looks up and speaks...

"I want to kill myself." 

Mother is silent. 

More Golden Flakes slip away as the real me is unearthed. 

Why would you want to kill perfection? 

I didn't see perfection. I saw evil.

Many years later, here I am still, on stage. The curtain opens and I come out, singing my song and doing my dance. Each note and motion Perfected. The stage curtain opens, but one curtain stays closed. 

The curtain hiding me.

Hiding the princess, forced to grow up too soon, brought to the Valley of Evil.

I found my way out of the wood, into the sunight, leaving part of me in the dark.

May that Evil day Behind the Closet Door never come to light. 

Though I stand on stage, I will forever hide part of me in the wood, away from the masses. 

Perfect high school senior with a sea of rampant imperfection underneath. 

Just a girl peaking out from Behind the Closet Door. 

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