Go Ahead and Live

Location

 

“Write about anything,” they said

“Write about anything in your life….”

 

Write about how Christmas has just passed,

And how the only thing that remains of it are full bellies, movies relating to the holiday still appearing on television, even though everyone is sick of it by now,

Two mini chocolate cupcakes in a plastic bin that will for sure be gone by tomorrow,

Kickass, top-notch presents, like a durable hamper with wheels, and a cover that prevents clothes from getting soaked when hauling it around campus in the rain,

And an untouched sweet potato pie on the kitchen counter

 

Write about how there is no such thing as quality television anymore,

And how even the classic, conventional Scooby Doo now has to be all about superficial, materialized teenage relationships,

Complete with real actors that in no way resemble the characters from the original cartoon

 

Write about how you found out about a diet that may actually work for you,

One that involves almost completely fasting one day, and eating however many potato chips and dip, buffalo chicken wraps, and York peppermint patties you want the next,

Without having to worry about your ass getting any bigger,

If that is even possible

 

Write about how it is REALLY time you did something else with your life besides watching mediocre, homespun, and just plain idiotic vines over and over again on Facebook,

And how you know those kittens and “Ding-dong ditch” fails make you laugh, but that there is a magnificent thing called “Going out with your friends” that will produce similar results

 

Write about how it royally sucks that Mother Nature has brought no snow to us this holiday season again,

And how global warming will someday make the winters seem like summers, and summers feel like Hades,

But that people are too preoccupied with social media and “Flappy Bird,” including myself, to give a sh*t

 

Write about your cats,

And how they love that you have come home for a month,

But how you’re not sure if they love that new laser beam we got them for Christmas more,

And how at least your company with them doesn’t make them poop out and sleep more than their spoiled, over-fed asses already do

 

Write about your old buddy,

And how you hope she is doing well,

“Taking it a day at a time,”

And making progress towards self-recovery

 

Write about how you should ask her if “Fat Cat” likes his new Christmas sweater,

Or if he is simply pretending he likes it,

So that she will buy him more stuff,

And how spoiled that damn cat is too

Write about how you miss your old buddy,

And how you really just want to see her big smile,

And hear her loud, full, and goofy yet contagious laugh again

 

Write about how the blinds in your room are half open,

And how if you actually had adequate vision,

The dim light on your side table would reveal the dust that has been building up on them over the months you’ve been away

 

Write about how maybe you’ll clean tomorrow,

And actually make that first step towards a productive life

 

Write about the generality of things,

How they might seem to be okay right now,

But you never really know when the coin will flip to the other side again,

And how your chances of your life being productive or meaningful will rapidly decrease again

 

Write about that empty feeling you’ve been developing,

That deters you from loving life,

And how you cry yourself to sleep every night because it just won’t go away

 

Write about how you don’t know where the hell it’s coming from,

And that you question whether or not you are right in the head

 

Write about how sometimes, it gets really bad

 

And how sometimes, you feel so overwhelmed with the emotions of your troubled mind, that you are enveloped within it,

And can sometimes hear it,

And taste it

 

Write about how these feelings, of sadness, desperation, and self-loathing….

That you just want them to go away,

That you just want to be happy,

That you just want to be something, damn it,

That you just want to break free of this everlasting mental torture and have a REAL LIFE

 

Write about how you have come so close to doing it….

But didn’t

 

Write about how great Aphex Twin sounds on the new headphones you got from your mom’s friend

 

Write about how you think it’s great that she has made your mother’s life a happier one,

And how she is making you and your brothers’ lives a lot happier as well

 

Write about the recurring dreams you have of running slow, losing teeth, and suddenly falling through the floor

 

Write about how you dreamt of having a penis…twice

 

Write about how these dreams remind you,

That you’re still okay up there

 

Write about how you have made new friends and reconnected with old,

And how they all understand,

And that just like them,

You “take things a day at a time”

 

Write about how each and every day, it gets a little bit easier

 

Write about how life sucks, and the world’s ending, and you have an illness,

But how all of these things ultimately come to, “Who gives a f*ck?”

 

Write about how one day, you are going to make a difference,

In the lives of those who understand that life sucks, and the world’s ending, and they have an illness

 

Write about how you will make them understand, “Who gives a f*ck?”

 

Write about how your 3.65 GPA in your first semester of college,

A place where you never thought you’d be,

Is a pretty damn good start

 

Write about how you need to try and fail at diets more,

Watch Scooby Doo more,

Watch vines on Facebook more,

And just let everything fall into place

 

Write about how it will get tough,

Very tough some days,

But that when taking life as is, you will change and become something without even knowing it

 

Write about how you spent two hours writing this,

And should probably go to bed now

 

Write about how tomorrow morning, you will wake up from a dream about having a penis,

Realize that those two cupcakes are gone, because you come from a family of people who like to eat, you’re not alone on that,

And go pour your bowl of Fruit Loops with extra sugar

 

Write about anything in your life,

And afterwards, go ahead and live it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

sincerelyraven

we're running on a similar frequency, my fellow scholarshipian

mslizzybloom95

It's good to know that I have people to share it with :)

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