For days and days I've learned that I'm pathetic
Weak for the touch that I'll never recieve and her acceptance
Poems, I feel that I regret them
I feel like a joke that'll never be respected
I found a place, but I'd rather stay alone
I rather ask her for closure while she ridicules me through a phone
So my hope abandoned me or did I abandoned it?
Dismissed only to find myself battling my instincts
Why should I feel greatful when she couldn't even give me sympathy?
It's the empathy that keeps your listeners listening
And when I start the trembling the demons start to mess with me
I don't know maybe I didn't deserve her
Maybe I should have stayed on that minecraft server
It's really easy to frown when they're all not around
And it's easy to smile until she thinks your a pathetic clown
Who do I talk to now?
I'll been only talking to myself
Begging God to get her to replicate what I felt
It's good-byes, It's sayonaras
It's see you tomorrow, so I can feel mentally bothered
I was safe on my xbox
And I wish that the feeling of safety wasn't something I forgot
I'm top notch until I see an evil pretty Angela, or Alanna
I'm stuck on these names
And I'm stuck on these same chains that repeat the same cycles
I feel ashamed to say that I didn't look like her "idol"
Other women give me the "awhs," but I've already lost
If Angela or Alanna would have "awhs" I probably wouldn't be here
I probably wouldn't get these stares or complain about despair
It's totally unfair, so I ask for the big man upstairs
And he works in mysterious ways which sometimes makes me enraged
Until he punishes me and I'm back on the same page
So what's new for today?
How do I change my ways?
How do I find happiness before thirty is a couple years away?
I can't be the best when she hurts my pride in expense
I don't want the sex, I want chuckles and the grins
But as I grew up I learned that life isn't about what you "want"
I learned that I'll never get her no matter how much I'm "in love"
So again I say "Good-bye" as she departs
And so again I'll go on a treasure hunt finding the lost pieces of my heart