Grow through what you go through

Looking through the lens of my childhood self ...the world was iridescent

It had knowledge shining from all corners of the world

And each day more wisdom was gained by me, this little girl.

My mind and thought process at the time was much more simple.

My  thoughts were filled with creativity, so imaginative and nimble 

They raced back and forth through my brain, till they got sick of the place and found an exit 

My mouth, aka their drain!.

Now isn’t it amazing how a child can speak their mind

Not fearing consequences or judgment of any kind

Just absolutely ignorant ...viewing the world in their own design

and being fearless without even trying.

At around 12 while I was going through puberty 

I lost my ability to speak... I was still able to talk but the words I wanted to say just wouldn’t come out

I was weak… 

You see the teacher in the system didn’t see my potential

So she made it an effort to make sure I knew I wasn’t influential

“You sound dumb”, “you don’t catch on fast” “you’re future seems dark” … you get the drift

And above all else, I was the only one in the class she talked to like this.

I was scared to tell my parents knowing my mom would make a scene 

But for 3 years constantly reminding myself of  my insignificance was a daily routine

I despised looking at my body as it grew, my shape began to change along with my voice 

Everything felt different to the point where I felt like an alien inside my own body.

That is until I met Ms. Davidson  

She exuded confidence and strived to make us girls feel comfortable in our skin

I admired her and dreamed of being like her, and to this day I am so grateful for her.

She saw in me something I didn’t see in myself and  gave me life lessons I’ll never forget 

I was book smart but refused to interact in class

seeing my opinion as unneeded and thinking someone else would say it and it would pass

but she taught me that my words and opinions are my own and showed me the significance 

which in no time it had grown.

I knew the values my words held and could stand firm on my two feet again.

It wasn’t an easy process and took me months of reprogramming my brain and behavior

but as I grew the old me became a stranger.

With my teacher's help, I realized how much I changed and how much I can change

for the first time in a long time, I was excited about the future 

excited to see what I would and could become

I had a new state of mind that  encourages the child within me

It is good to grow you discover new things about yourself and for me

I realized how important it is to love yourself.

you see self-love is something that everyone talks about nowadays  

that some people are even calling a trend but

It’s so important to give yourself that love you deserve 

to have your own back through the worst of the worst.

I was able to apologize to that little girl  and tell her that her words and future belong to her

I was able to grow and accomplish more even get into college

I went beyond my expectations and I’m continuing on my journey 

filled with more love for myself so that no one can hurt me.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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