hands

Location

Hands
Of him to invade me to intrude to be ill mannered and uncouth to me
Hands
Dating the clock so faithful so diligent so painless so fast so slow
Hands
I held here... you laid there... they held each other... you will lay forever... dad lay forever
Like my sister yet no sight of her once she’s gone... she’s up there... in there... like treasure, my treasure
Hands used to touch to feel but this feeling is in my heart how is this real, its real... im still… im watching me unravel… my cheeks are stiff from laughing... I can see the fakeness.. im faking it im losing me and im aware of IT, yes im aware of IT because IT is taking me that mean bitch preys on me IT knows im weak IT knows im at my peak.. IT drafted me IT came for me IT’s persuading me to stray from me, IT’s dark and then light and I can’t find me.
Hands
To write this letter “Dear IT, give me back me...”
No that’s not right... ill never get me back... I have to show enthusiasm I’ll never be on track I’ll never heal from this, no one would approve the thoughts running in my head, full speed do they ever get tired? im crying im lying on the floor the only way I can look up, im so shook up im so separate from myself I can’t get up, Im lost im hoping someone is trying to look me up… IT won’t give me back because I won’t use my hands to embrace.. but to grip me up... pain, I was taught to shut me up… I use these hands to take me to a place we have always heard of a place my dad and sister went to rest up.

But…..I can’t… I have to use the hands to get me up, use these hands to find my home use these hands to carve my name in stone… use these hands to love me even if im alone… use these tears to water positivity for ill detach from this sorrow ill use my heart to buy myself time.. To realize how much I love me.

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