HapHazard HarMoney

A flash of light and you wake up in a place unlike anything you have ever seen

Constantly changing with each step, inhale, eye blink, and gasp

Oceans vast empty and pure, skies untainted by smog and death, lands ruled by kings and queens

Dragons, lions , demons, angels, and the purest forms of life all at the reach of a hand

But STOP you must know better than to reach out and touch that which you do not truly understand

For to reach into Paradise and take the steps to understanding that which makes me whole you, your self, must first wade through the unholy hellfire that is my entirety yet a fraction of a whole

My pain, misery, loss, sadness, anger, strife and all those ugly little things that make up the dark corners in this beautiful world

Hopes, dreams, realizations, and understandings,

The hunger to know more and more while understanding so little in life makes me naive and wise

You explore the inner workings of my views on love, life, friendship and brotherhood

What makes me me is all of this and so much more

Forced to grow old in mind but stay youthful in age

Battered, beaten, bruised and defeated but still smiling

Loving and Giving pieces of me to those I hold dear but still lying

About life

Because what you fail to know and can't possibly understand is this

All of the potential for greatness and success is bogged down by a blank wall of unfeeling lethargicness

The mind which shines so brilliantly on paper and in front of adults

Shrivels, weakens, and disappears in the isolation of solitude self inflict for the safety of love itself

Seeking to truly understand myself I look into the workings of my mind like clockwork and gears

Easily influenced but never shaken

Steadfast but fluid like water

Easy to copy but never to perfect

I adapt instantly with reactions that progress into thoughts

Oh im sorry but your journey has not ended

Because the hellfire is spreading and engulfing that which makes me me

Those dark corners are becoming black holes which threaten to overtake everything that you may hold dear

The hunger and motivation in me and that bright smile I once called mine becomes stale and brittle frozen over like the ashes of the flames that once ignites the fire in my eyes and soul

The wall approaches and there is no where to go

The blank wall which is bright and dull at the same time

The blank wall that gives me the inability to care. 

About anything really.

It is my everything yet it is alien to me

But you were asking how my mind works were you not?

It is inexpliccable in its most complex workings

It is made up of the imagination, and creativity of a child who was let to explore himself and the world around him with no tint on his eyes and blinder at his sides

A 360 view of things that span across dimensions I could not possibly seek to understand

But I try because that, in essence is me

My mind is the reservoir that holds all my creativity within it agead and leaking walls

There is no plan when my creativity flows just expression like a dam of creativity bursting free

Waves of emotions, memories and life lessons spill from the reservoir.

I focus, refine, and brandish it like a mighty blade against the world itself

Because my canvas is not just simply a canvas but the world

Spreading the essence of ME to everyone I meet

So that I travel everywhere and stay fixed in one location

Is it strange that after being told I was one of a kind I began to feel alien here

The alienation provides comfort so do I truly belong or am I just accepting the circumstances life has given me

I do not attempt to understand my mind or explain how it works

I just attempt to put on this screen a fraction of something so overwhelming as the machine behind Tyler

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