Haunted

My anxiety haunts me.
And no, it's not the usual "under the bed" or "inside the closet" ghost
This is a "inside my heart" ghost
A "something is holding me against my bed" ghost
A "I can't breathe" ghost
A "I can't go in there or I'll die" ghost
It threatens my life.
It threatens my relationships and happiness
It threatens my grades, my future, my ability to get up in the morning
It threatens me.

My anxiety haunts me
And it follows me everywhere
It especially likes it when his best friend Depression comes over
And they'll have a blast
They'll convince me that listening to depressing music all day without getting up from bed is a great idea to spend the day
They'll drive me insane counting calories on food just to end up going "You know? It's better if we don't eat anyway."
They'll ask me an infinite number of times if I did my homework correctly
And they won't let me study until I've spent three hours organizing my files and convincing myself I'm miserable and don't deserve a future at all
 

My anxiety is my best friend
We hang out together... sometimes
He'll joke with me and make me feel bad
But he's still my best friend
He'll also restrain me and only allow me to do things he thinks are appropriate
But that's okay
He know what's best, anyway
And he enjoys hanging out with Depression more
They enjoy making fun of me together; anyway
They know me best, anyway
They're smarter, anyway
Anyway, I'm weak
 

And they know this about me
"We're here to make you strong. Understand what people *really* think of you."
That's what they always say.
They're right, I suppose
They always are.
 

My anxiety haunts me
My depression drains me
And, anyway, they are me.

This poem is about: 
Me

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