The girl puts on her Powerpuff Girls backpack,
She is so excited for her first day of Kindergarten,
By the end of the day she does not want the next thirteen years to come.
Yet, she can't wait to grow up.
The girl is in the sixth grade now.
And has two little brothers.
Her grades are okay-ish, they make her parents proud.
Her grandmother has recently been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer,
And she feels so alone.
The girl’s mother is pregnant again.
Her grades are slipping, her parents are disappointed
She is losing her focus on her life.
She cannot decide between wanting to live or wanting to die;
But she doesn't dare telling anyone (her mama raised her not to be an attention-seeker).
So instead she lets a razor blade slide across her wrist,
Because she doesn't want to seek for attention she does not need.
The girls mother gave birth to a beautiful boy,
And her grandmother is in remission now.
The girl now has her first boyfriend,
But no one knows that he emotionally abuses her.
Or that the girl has relapsed, letting her wrist meet the blade once again.
Her grades have improved; she's on the A/B Honor Roll.
She cannot wait for the next four years to come and go.
The girl is a freshman in high school.
And her grandmothers’ cancer is back
This time with a death sentence; Six to twelve months.
Her family nervously sits and waits as six months pass and the grandmother is still here.
The girls depression seems to have gotten better,
But she cannot decide if she has gotten better at hiding it or if she is truly happy for the first time in a while..
A year has passed, and her grandmother is still on Earth with her and her family.
But still, the girl lives in fear of losing one of the most important women in her life.
But months later and the cancer is yet again gone.
And her mother is pregnant once more; with the girls fourth sibling.
She prays it is a girl, but will love the baby nevertheless.
She's a sophomore in high school and waits in anticipation for the day when she graduates high school.
All she wants to do is move away from her controlling, over-protective parents.
Her grades are perfect.
But her depression is back, and she can't explain why.
She took her drivers test in March; and failed.
The girl took it again in early May, and she passed.
Her grandmother took her out to lunch, her cancer is back; this time it's in her spine.
In mid-May her mother is put in the hospital for two weeks,
Making the girl "step up to the plate" and take care of her three brothers.
Two weeks later, her mother gives birth to a beautiful, blue-eyed baby boy.
Her grandmother visits the family in the hospital to see her new grandson; the girl did not realize that would be the last time she saw her grandmother alive.
Two weeks after her fourth brothers birth, her grandmother is put into the Heart Hospital of Austin.
Two more weeks later,on a Saturday morning, her grandmother is gone.
Four days later on a Wednesday, the girl dresses herself in her mothers dress,
But she doesn't feel herself move.
To her, the girl is in a cloud of grey smoke.
She feels disoriented and lost.
She attends the Roman Catholic funeral ceremony,
She gets up with her three older female cousins to bring the gifts to the Monsignor.
She hugs her distant relatives and nods at their condolences, barely hearing a word they say.
By Friday, the girl is in Dallas surrounded by family;
The girl stays there for two long weeks, but they were needed- She felt her slowly lose herself and slip back into her depression; she didn’t know what would have happened if she stayed.
A year has past, and her junior year has come and gone.
The girl is about to enter her senior year of high school.
Her grades are put-on-the-refrigerator-perfect.
She thought she would be ready to spread her wings and fly away from her small town,
But now that that time is almost near , she’s slowly freaking out inside.
The thought of being away from her parents worries her,
But she knows she can do it.
Yet she wishes she was still six years old without a care in the world.
She misses her grandmother like somethin’ fierce,
But she’s slowly healing inside.
Her depression has gotten better, her taste in guys is significantly better, her grades are amazing,
She feels happier.
She is happier.