Did you know you ruined my life ?
I heard you laugh while you did it,
Did you know you ruined my life ?
With your words so insipid,

A reputation never thought of,
Suddenly so fragile,
All torn in a whisper,
It only took a while,

Oblivious I had faltered,
Had I known what was ahead of me,
Perhaps, I could have altered it ?
But the future, none of us can see,

You say all these things,
Of unspeakable flings,
Don't you know me ?
That's not my way,
But ridicule and slander, are the order of the day,

A snigger, a whisper, endless repulsed looks,
Most of them coming from morality crooks,
It's like I've been dragged into a world of sleeze,
I'm begging, please leave me alone, please,

My name now blackened,
There is no turning back,
No way to recover,
Or even keep track,

Each time it happens, it's another new face,
No matter where I am, be it time, or a place,
It's becoming apparent, nowhere, is safe,

My name, my identity tag,
Now a shameful slur,
I remember being happy,
But its becoming a blur,

Everything that once was, is now forever tainted,
Misery and I, now very well acquainted,

Each day is getting harder,
I'm struggling more and more,
I can no longer remember,
What life was like before,

Paranoia, my constant companion,
Sticks to me, with reckless abandon,
Demons reside in my head,
I feel their presence like I'm already dead,

One by one, people turn against me,
How could you do that ?
Why can't you see ?
This person you speak of, I could never be,

But you have wore me down and I believe it to be true,
I am nothing, I am trash,
Now I think like you,
Unworthy of anything least of all respect,
Not kindness, not compassion,
I understand why slating me is like a must have fashion,

Almost all revelation, I remember it's not even true,
Everyone is judging, but they haven't a clue,
Because all the while I had only been kissed,
But that's a secret, that everyone missed,

The hatred grows inside me,
Like an acorn to an oak,
But the devil is entangled,
And I feel I could choke,

I am now completely broken,
Your mission is complete,
All that's left now is suicide,
The exit button called delete,

But I feel no solace at the notion of no longer being here,
Simply because my belief in heaven is so clear,
As when I get there, this will still have happened,
And so with the torture, I remain shackled,

There is no way out, no means of escape,
All I can do, is wait, and wait,
For an absolution, that would never come,

And so the years go by with little joy to be had,
How did I deserve, a life so very bad,

The anger so strong, slowly dissipated,
All the while still being berated,
I survived it all, it's time to accept,
I cannot undo this, so let's make a bet,

The girl in the mirror, she's looking at me,
Ever so slightly, expectantly,
I hold my head high, look her in the eye,
And in the words of Chris Martin, I whisper,
"I will try, to fix you"

For as long as I remember,
All I know is pain,
With nothing left to lose,
Maybe everything to gain,

The years I was robbed of,
Years you stole from me,
You've taken all you're getting,
The rest, are for me,

With much healing, soul searching and therapies done,
I even rediscover, that thing called fun,
Helping peel away, layers of damage done,

Slowly, so slowly, the darkness began to lift,
The demons retreated, now that, was a gift,

I began to live again, just a little at a time,
Unsure how to trust, but for now, that's fine,

Many years have since passed,
I look at the world no longer afraid,
I can honestly say, I'm glad I stayed,

When you realise happiness comes from within,
That is when life, will truly, begin,

I know in my heart the best is yet to come,
Transporting me there, is laughter and fun,

Because in a moment, it will all end,
That's fate,
But until then,
Heaven, can wait.