Heaven Or Hell?

Who is to say I am going to Hell,

Without knowing my full story?

Without knowing how I will spend my life?

Without knowing all of me?

Where will I go for being true?

True to myself, and true to others.

Will I be damned to Hell for being true?

Or will I sail up to Heaven for living a lie?

Will I walk up that giant stairway to the golden gates of Heaven,

For being something I know I am not?

For changing who I am to please everyone else?

Or will I fall into an eternity of flames and misery for my feelings?

Desire.

Hatred.

Desire for a happy life,

A life full of joy, affection, and acceptance.

Hatred for living a lie,

A lie that pleases everyone but myself.

So where do I go from here?

I only have one life.

Only one chance to go to Heaven,

Once chance to go to Hell.

But this right here,

This very moment is Hell.

Lying to everyone I love.

Being someone I know I am not meant to be.

Judgement.

Judgement day with the Lord.

But everyday in this Hell on Earth is Judgement day.

Judged for being different,

For being me.

So I guess I’ll sit back,

Watch the days go by,

As I wonder to myself,

Heaven or Hell?

Supposed sin or purity?

How will I know what to choose?

Will God send me a sign?

Or will he let my mind cave in,

As I crumble with loathing?

Loathing for myself,

For mankind.

This is my Hell on Earth.

I have nowhere to go but up.

Maybe.

These few moments,

This is my Hell.

 

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