Hey so this isn't really a poem it's just something I scrapped as I was crying. Thoughts?

i cried

i cried so much

i cried so much, over him

he hurt me

he he doesn’t hang out with me

he touched her

he was only supposed to touch me

he did our thing with her

it was our thing

for him and i

yet he did it with her

he sat next to another her

he laughed with her

he doesn’t laugh with me

i was near him

he left to be with her

not me

i’m his girlfriend

not her

and all i did was sit there and watch

he misses another her

he talked about her behind me

he said he’s sad he can’t text her

he didn’t say that about me

he doesn’t text me

he said he ignores my messages to talk to her

why doesn’t he want to talk to me

he rolled his eyes at me

he told her “see what i’m talking about”

he hates me

he doesn’t love me

he thinks i’m dramatic and crazy

yet i’m the sanest person around


This poem is about: 



its really good :) to critique it, you use "her" too much, but idk if that's what you were going for. i wouldn't know what your mind is trying to put onto paper. the thing i like about poetry is we can put our thoughts and feelings out in words. sometimes its a bitch trying to pour your heart out lmao but i think if you put more time and hella thought into it, you could make really good poems. i know when i write, i sit for long periods of time trying to form a line that rhymes and also expresses how i feel, but its worth it because when im done, i feel hella great about the thought i put into something. so keep up the good work and maybe try putting some constructive lines that go deeper into your emotions :)

amanda mendoza

even though this was something you wrote while crying, i love it so much. it gives this raw, type of energy where i dont even need to infer or use metaphors, becuase i feel exactly what you're feeling. also bc ive been in this exact situation before, but i love it so much.

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