Him. A three letter word that titles my biggest distraction.
My largest secret.
My most unfiltered thoughts.
I don't know how these feelings and excuses came to be titled Him,
but sometimes I wish life were a piece of paper so that I could
erase Him from inbetween the lines.
However, I'm just as bad at talking about him as I am writing about him.
If my mouth were a pencil, its lead would break.
If my toungue were a sheet of paper it would be soggy and frail,
drenched in all of the words that can be used, but can't begin to
contend with how I really feel.
Instead of being anything with the ability to present whats on my
mind, my mouth has become a binder holding hole punched feelings.
My mouth has become an important sheet of paper stuck in a sheet
protector, to keep my heart safe.
It has even managed to become a frame, holding what I picture when
I hear the word Him and think the word Us.
You see my mouth has become everything except for what I need it to be.
My most needed part of me is bailing.
My mind is screaming, but the locked cage known as a mouth, won't
open and allow the screams to be heard.
An amazing author once wrote, "There are different ways to die.
There's jumping off a roof and then there is slowly poisoning yourself
with the flesh of another everyday."
As a person who ops for the quick and painless, I can all but prove to you
that I would rather jump than allow Him to echo in my thoughts for the
rest of my already pitiful life.