Hockey is the reason I choose not to end myself at the start

Hockey is the reason I chose not to end myself at the start
 
Now, rough doesn’t even begin to explain it – at all
 
Haunting me for years, was something that I tried to hide
 
It didn’t go well – if you didn’t notice – didn’t go well at all
 
I remember starting to cry – oh, why the hell was I crying?
 
And then I remember being asked – what is wrong?
 
I barely remember what Madison said – someone had died
 
But I sure as hell remember what I screamed.
 
“I want to kill myself!”
 
I couldn’t keep it in any longer – but I shouldn’t have let it out
 
My whole team heard me, they heard what they did
 
I just don’t think they thought they would heard it from me
 
Good God. Writing this sounds like a story book to me
 
But sadly, only I know how true this is – how pathetic
 
I remember the next day – going to Sheppard Pratt
 
I didn’t want them to admit me – to call me suicidal
 
But who am I kidding when I say that I don’t want to die?
 
No one
 
But – do you know what made me smile that same night?
 
Hockey
 
The Pittsburgh Penguins and the Chicago Blackhawks
 
The two most meaningful teams to me – made me smile
 
I don’t remember their score – I don’t remember if they won
 
But Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin and James Neal
 
And Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane and Patrick Sharp
 
All managed to save my smile for another long week
 
I can’t pass up a chance to see those boys in action
 
And if – one day – I get the chance to meet any of them
 
There’s one thing that I’ll tell them.
 
“Hockey is the reason I chose not to end myself at the start.”
 
“Thank you.”

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741