Hopeless Clarity
They say it's normal to be in pain
but nothing about the sleepless nights,
feelings of heartbreak, constant clouds of thoughts burning my brain
2016 was good to some
but as for me, I was emptied of all my passion and love
by November my body felt nothing but numb
Late January is when the burden began to build
at the bottom of a hill drowning in tears,
with no car, my freedom instantly killed
But it was only the beginning, there was far more to come
Death became a close enemy of mine
kept revisiting my family
took up most of my energy and time
A word, only five letters
something so tiny took root of all my love
and left me with just sweaters
Reminding me there was still more to come
Past conflicts returned, the more I felt fragile
putting pieces together
to understand his actions, became a constant battle
Because is it possible to not love somebody,
only later find yourself captivated by their existence
to discover all along they loved someone else's company?
Somehow I knew there was more to come
Defeat surfaced, falling so short of my hopes
agony flowing through my veins
I was no longer in control of the ropes
What was once a little girl's dream..
unknowingly faded away
while she fell apart at the seams
Until there was no more to come
Disappointment, sadness, misfortune filled my soul
there was nothing left to take
and to think happiness and certainty was this past years goal..