How is it that I am still alive?
How is it that today I am awake
and maintaining hope that things will get better
when I can feel myself spiraling out of control?
There have been days...
when I wish I could fall asleep
to never wake up from what few pleasant dreams I have.
when I wish I could disappear
just to see if anybody truely cares
or if I would go unmissed.
when I wish I could take away all of my problems
end the constant fear and sadness that I fell.
There have been days when I wish I never existed.
How is it I stay alive with all that goes on in my head?
When I wish I am dead?
I realize that life isn't all bad...
as I count the stars in the sky
with wonder of their existance.
as I am warmly greeted by friends old and new
asking how I am.
as I see the family who holds me tight
the days I have shattered into tears.
as I watch the waves crash upon the beach
in the glimmering light of the moon.
as I count my blessings
and hold tight onto what little hope I have left.
So how do I survive?
The world is a cold palce to be,
when you are alone
in a battle that you can't fight.
But in the end giving up
means that there is no chance
to grow and strengthen
to fight once again
in hopes that on day
maybe one day
I can win.