How Can I Live?

How can you live?

You. You who want

More than anything to die

You say that each day you look in the mirror

With a knife blade held

Ready to kill

You speak of bedsheets and blood

Strangling, lungs with no air to fill

You're depressed, I know

But in my heart, I don't

I don't want you to die, but does that mean

I have to live for you?

I won't

You lay your burdens on me

And I take them gratefully

Carrying them up the hill like a mule

But all the while smiling

Because if i don't smile

What will happen?

Will you fall of the edge of a cliff,

Or would you jump?

I hear your cries of anguish

I know you want to be heard

But why, of all people

Why by me?

It's absurd

I don't know you that well, least of all

Your heart

And yet you caught me and used me

Right from the start

I feel ill

Every day

When i think of what i did

How i told your parents

Gave you a choice

A choice to make it

And live

You hated me

Deep in your heart

And i never wanted it

I didn't ask for it

And it tears me apart

So now you're better

And i'm still the same

And i wonder

How can i live?

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741