How Could He Ever Love Me?

Sat, 06/14/2014 - 19:48 -- Nabz94

 

How could he ever love me? Twisted in my mind, evil from my roots to my vine. I stretch and reach for everything this world has to offer me. Money, drugs, and women, I think there’s something more, but society tells me that’s all I have to look forward to. And for that a war is waged. My mind becomes a battlefield. It’s Me Vs. Myself & I. Its sick because there can be only one casualty. Its times like these I fall to my knees and cry out GOD!.........how could you ever love me? He answers, but I’m not listening, I’m too busy plus Satan’s whispering.  So I’ll return when I feel my grace is earned. No lord I’m not trying to fight with you in fact me running away from you is my plea to be right with you. Even the most ridiculous ideas make sense when you are your only critic. So moving backwards I fall into the shadows playing doctor, trying to heal the scars that I created. But in the darkness is fear, temptation strikes but I ignore it because I’m unaware that big problems have small beginnings. So time passes and now I’m addicted to everything but GOD. With the self-esteem of a teenage girl I don’t want you to see me like this I’m a mess! But sin is tiring and in you I find rest. So for the last time I fall on my knees and cry out GOD! I have sinned against you, I’m not worthy of your love, I have gone astray and turned my back on you how could you ever love me? In the silence I hear his small still voice. True love cannot be explained, but true love needs no explanation it is a feeling; you can never understand until you feel it. And now I do. I don’t question it. Thank you for loving me.

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