I Am

I am that girl.

I am the girl that grew up in the Christian home with a family that on the outside, looked nothing short of happy and complete.

Little did everyone know, my family was more broken than the glass beer bottles I threw on the ground to try and make it impossible for my dad to drink another long neck.

It wasn't until late elementary school that I began to realize how messed up my family life really was.

I was that girl with a dad that was an extreme alcoholic.

That girl with a mom that worked herself half to death in a factory.

That girl whose sister was getting ready to go to college.

Then the unexpected happened. Dad committed suicide.

My world was over and done with.

I was that girl that had no purpose.

That girl that had no future. 

All I had was a box of ashes and a childhood full of shattered memories, crying in the living room with my mom and sister, missing the man I never really had.

Fast forward six years, from getting in trouble at school, extreme disrespect to my mom, developing an eating disorder, being put in the hospital on the verge of death and many other crucial life moments, is that girl. 

Except that girl is different this time.

I am now that girl that has huge plans for her life.

That girl with plans to seek Christ and serve others.

That girl with plans to get an education and not work in a factory to put food on the table like her mom.

That girl with plans to graduate top 20 in her class because she is only 7 spots away.

That girl to have a healthy relationship with her body and feed it when it's hungry.

That girl is a girl that has been through so much but when the sun sets at night and she lays her head down, doesn't fret and wouldn't trade her life for anything because she absolutely loves being that girl. 

Now, she is that girl that takes every opportunity she gets to and always proudly displays who she is. 

That girl who believes in love and sees the beauty of family. 

That girl who is thankful for everything she has been given and knows God is just beginning. 

That girl who loves who she has become and can't wait to see who she will become. 

I am that girl and I love it.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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