I can’t come out. The closet is too deep and it has swallowed my soul and chained me to my own denial. I can’t come out. Not because I don’t want to, but because if I do I will lose the only things in life that still matter. I can’t come out because the bullies that beat me my whole life will realize they were right. If I come out my dad will hate me more than he already does and my mom will stop talking to her friends about me. If I come out then my church will damn me to hell with the words of the scripture fresh on my lips. If I come out then I’ll finally stop receiving messages from hopeful girls and I’ll finally be able to look at men without the fear of exposure. When I come out I may finally be able to text a man long enough for my phone to die without me envying the phone. When I come out, maybe these thoughts of my lifeless future will leave my head and I’ll have hope. But, I may never come out. Not because I’m afraid to lose my friends, my family, or even my belongings. I am afraid to lose you and with every second that goes by I can feel myself slipping away. You can try to make me stay, but the world doesn’t want me here. I can’t come out