I can no longer take this hurt , sadness, the endless pain.
Everywhere I turn everywhere I look everywhere I go there's no you, there's no life ,laughter no love, no one .
Just cold, dark pain no longer with a lifeline no heartbeat no breath I can't take this no more my mind is wandering off into the Land of the Dead the unknown..
Being that you Left me on this earth with all of this misery in a world full of people who don't love understand me only to use me and leave me..
The otherside has to be better then this..I can't wait to join you on the lords say i need to be with you now today..I want the pain hurt to stop I can't hide all I can do is fly away .
I'm on my way to you I'm going peacefully I'm cut my wrist let the pain bleed out of me while I drift off into that final peaceful sleep I taken a lethal dose to hurry my soul to you I'm in a hurry I'm ready to go.
I'm no longer needed on this earth nobody love me no one really cares will they even notice im gone they won't shed no tears they will be happy I'm finally out of here out of their life they wished I was dead from birth well they need to not worry anymore im now flying out that open window.
My soul is now at peace I love it here for I'm free..wait what's this hot lava what that hot light ..
It burns so bad this not the ending I had in mind for my soul I'm sorry I just wanted to let all go now I'm in an eternity of pain and flames my best friend my brother is not here he's up there and the righteous land.
I can't endure this hell im pleading my lord please forgive me send me back to my earthy life I will do right I will wait on you i never take my life.
My soul begin to float I see my whole entire my family and friends who I thought didn't love or care about me in the end..they are all in agony and pain they no longer know how to go about their days for I selfishly taken myself away.
My mother is is dying from a broken heart because her baby she can no longer hug or kiss..I didn't mean to put my family on so much pain they slowly dying every day for eternity my soul is trapped in lake of fire tortured day and night miserable alone and in pai . Never to feel small amount of love again..my love ones are all on the other side peaceful as one..looking down from heaven at my soul but can't reach out to help me because I was selfish took myself away from thee.
I jumped up realize suicide is a cheap and permanent way out of a situation that is not as bad as you think it is or as it seems i was able to drop that razor throw those pills down the drain .
everything that I had felt my soul in hell was an out of body experience my gaurdian angel gave me to show me that nothing is worth goinng to hell and it not bad as it seem when you think nobody cares, no one loves you it not true you are not alone.
No matter come what may it always somebody on earth that loves and need you..trust in that feel that know that.
In.augest 2014 I gave up the first time in my life I gave up I never been suicidal really in my life..when I lost my only brother may 29th 2013 I died as well I'm already bipolar with panic attacks I developed PTSD , borderline personality disorder and distinctive personality disorder from that because I didn't want to deal with it or face it I became shut down inside of me i felt nobody cares nobody understood my grief my hurt I couldn't deal with it no longer and I took a over dose they got me to e.r in time to counteract the poison but wasn't sure if I will make it my family did not know anything they only said it in gods hands I was in a baby coma I made it though i realized I was loved more then I believed I'm still struggling with the whole situation and yes it's plenty of time so I don't wanna wake up but I have a reason I have a wonderful family my kids but most of all I have inspiration empty love understanding for others that feel nobody else cares nobody else love them..that's where your wrong I love you I get you I understand I got the same hurt you have suicide its a permanent answer to something that is not as hard as you think..your worthy of life you may not understand why or feel a void but I promise it gets better .
I tried to take my life being selfish I realized I'm worthy because I had my second baby at 18 and I almost hemorrhaged to death I then had my baby at 26 I almost hemorrhaged to death again they gave me medicine to stop it well they did something to make my womb to clamp down to fast sent a blood clot to my left lung 3 days I was in pain my mom made me go to the e.r. that night they said if I had went to sleep I would of died also that lung was collapsed as well .. overcome so many dates with death including by my own hands yet I'm still here I'm stronger I'm worthy so are you ..if you feel like you need a friend please reach out promise you it get better in the end..