I Can't

Wed, 01/22/2014 - 12:47 -- Jazziie

I can't look at you smiling

Laughing with you is confusing

My best friend such comfort

But I feel so unsafe now

Your touch so overwhelming

To smile, sigh, flinch, or cry

I desire your grip and kiss

I want to talk about living together

I want to have, keep, and own you

I did believe you were all mine

Now I question how much I meant

The power and importance I had

Wasn't as solid as I thought


I can't happily discuss our future

I was somehow robbed of you

I no longer have full joy in us

I need and crave you everyday

But all day damaged feelings arise

The tears shed expected or not

I burst with sadness and rage

Inconsiderate and disrespectful

How could my love be those

My best friend didn't protect me

I wish I can feel as I did last month

I was ignorant but I now know

She has your thoughts and desires

The attention I don't have she got

How could I have allowed this

Such betrayal slipped by me

How inappropriate your speaking

I crumble considering the nerve

Despite my constant presence

My love didn't alter your behavior

Choices made being aware or not

Have put me in the deepest hole

Some strength I find somehow

To keep my pieces together


I can't go a day without pouring out

My hurt can't be reasoned with

I want this all to not be real

But I'm trapped in feelings of loss

The love of my life not all mine

Possible someone else's for good

Not together now but it already kills

To almost not have you at all


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741