I Can't Get It Back

At the time I didn't know I needed to hold on. 

To the moments. 

The memories. 

At the time I didn't know I'd miss them. 

That I'd want them back. 

 

At the time I didn't know I'd search for what was left of them in the cluttered corners of my mind, frantically digging through the shadowlands, mining for hidden memories that are now more precious to me than gold. Rewatching them over and over like I do The Lion King, hoping, that somehow I won't lose my Mufasa this time.

But instead all I'm left with is a Scar. 

 

At the time I didn't know they'd be all I ever wanted. 

All I could think about. 

 

So I didn't savour them. 

I didn't record every meticulous detail.

I didn't file them away with your name engraved. 

I thought there'd be more, so I callously threw them aside. 

Cast down like they meant nothing. 

I took them for granted. 

I took you for granted. 

 

My feelings attached to these memories are strong.

Their magnetic field pulling me forward as I search for them. 

I follow the essence of your presence in my mind.

Getting closer. Hotter.

 

The images of us are blurry, murky. 

Underwater. 

Drowning in what used to be. 

Hard to fully see. 

They're fading. 

 

They're leaving me. 

You're leaving me.

And I can't get you back. 

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