Why can’t I Math?

I didn't’t stutter
“why can I math?”

makes an English major

shudder

 

I’ve been called a Grammar Nazi

corrected mis spelled words in my head

since i was old enough to read

the books i’ve read

After all this time, i’m still doing well

but math seems to be something i can’t dispel

 

if i had to calculate the amount of times i sat in front of numbers

and was completely lost, it would be an estimate of about

a bagillion

 

I go with math the way oil goes with water

only if it’s required to get that diploma

even though there is no diplomacy in the world

of linear equations

 

in elementary, it was all fun

it was just single digit numbers

with the occasional 12 that threw everyone off.

then one day, the teacher walked in and

she turned to the board, and drew an X

i thought her plus sign was a bit turned over

i guess

I thought the division sign was the dawn of emojis.

 

my lack of control i have with formulating

leaves me in a nonsensical frenzy of perplex

i can’t seem to relax when it comes to equations

 

every homework assignment is a French movie with no subtitles

extra credit math questions might as well be a

checkpoint on mars

because they both have the same probability

of their reach ability

it’s a flat out, no way in hell, zero point nothing percent

I’ll work twice as hard

to get half as far

in this redundant world

of binary code

 

I walk into class and my professor asks

if anyone needs help with the math at hand

little does she know i have as many questions

as there are numbers

 

but i must admit it’s hard to stay humble

when i finish a problem on my own

i throw my arms above my head in a

moment of victory

only to find out the ones i solved

were example problems

 

oh well.

time to look at the clock and calculate

the amount of time i have left

30 minutes till dismissal

that means i have to go through

ten minutes three times

or three minutes ten times

or five minutes six times

or six mi.....