I couldn't tell you, You wouldn't Believe me

Location

I couldn't tell you what I did last night.

Tell you what I fear or what I Like.

tell you that im confused or angry,

because i know that what I feel, you cant see. 

I know that you would look but not see me.

I cant tell you that where i live isn't home

and when i'm home, im all alone.

I couldn't tel you that i'm sick

that i'm twisted.

I couldnt tell you that i'm killing myself and my soul trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong

sifting through what you say and what they tell me.

I couldnt tell you that I'm scared of the ones who say they protect me

because when I look at them i see what you can't see.

The ones that say they love me are more confused than myself

are dying inside, trying to sift between there delusions and who is really me.

Trying to find love and stay in touch in touch with reality is a compromise that they cant see.

And if i told you this,

I know how you would look at me.

You would look at me like i'm crazy.

Like i said, i see what you won't see.

I can't tell you that while you trying to teach me I'm thinking of the ones who need me.

Thinking of how without they would crumble

not die, but lose their mind,

 their sanity.

Convinced themselves that they are showing me the way,

but all they have done is lead me astry.

If i told you this you would look at me,

Pitty me.

But I don't want to hear what you think you can see.

I couldn't tell you that when I come here, i get angry

thinking about what you people think you can see.

Thinking about what i see in myself

and all I want to see in me is omething else.

I couldn't tell you where I'm at, 

where I came From.

I couldn't tell you what i know and what I've seen.

I couldn't even tell you about the people that made me. 

whenever I tell, I can see no one believes me.

All I could tell you is how I stopped changed my life.

how I broke the cycle of abuse and ignorence that plaged me. 

That is something that i could tell you

When people hear my story,

That is all that they choose to see.

 

 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741