I didn't think that getting older would be as bad as getting sober
I didn't think that getting older would be as bad as getting sober
It’s like my mind's been trynna to escape me
Suicide thoughts, been having them on the daily
It’s like my happiness leaves me then
the vapor leaves my pen
I used to be happy but lately
Even myself has been trynna leave me
At 11 I played my music loud because
I was not
A year later i’d up til 12 to match my age,
I kept strange hours closer to me than friends
truth be told a seed of friendship
Is harder to grow than weed
13 year old me swore not to put nicotine past her lungs
Didn't know it’d relax her more than any lullaby ever sung
From 14 through 15 I’d tell myself addiction is nothing more than fiction
the only solid things in my life were the ice in my drinks
But they'd melt
And water down my drink as tears watered down my face
At 16 I’d look for plugs
I decided I’d rather ask for drugs than hugs
Because at least I could make drugs last
At 17 I decided to never say I'm an addict
Cus to be an addict
Creates a depiction of an overdose on
prescription medication
But i’m not there yet
My will to live has resigned
And I need help to unwind
Happiness is leaving faster than youth
I didn't know that maturity would be tied with
Insecurities being forced on to me
At the end of the day
I'm just a girl sipping lean
hand in hand with being eighteen
Writing poetry for those who didn't know that ,getting older would be as bad as getting sober