But I Do

Location

Eagle Grove
United States

I'm ugly?

You have the audacity to me ugly,

What about your soul?

Have you no truth?

Those cuts, those scars.

They came from you.

No, not physically, but mentally and verbally.

You may not care, but I do!

 

With those I get labled ugly, goth, suicidal, and mentally ill.

You should take a look at your soul, it's blacker than black.

Can't you see you've already torn me down?

That I believe what you say?

No, you think it's hilarious to make fun of me.

Can't you see that I was already weak?

You may not care, but I do!

 

I want to be here,

but at the same time I don't.

Do you see the damage you've done?

Every second I slip farther down the rope.

I grasp it with every bit of my strenth,

but I try hard and fail.

I fail, I fall deeper into depression.

It lurks just below me,

it's ready to eat it's next snack.

It's ready to devour the next person,

it's ready to kill.

Soon I won't be here.

You may not care, but I do!

 

I know God loves me ,

but why doesn't he protect me from you?

Does he want me home?

No, he can't, he doesn't want me to end this way.

But the end comes ever closer.

The more I think,

the more I want.

I want better for me, for my friends, for my family.

But I can't shake this feeling that I need to leave the earth.

You may not care, but I do!

 

Physical pain hurts only a moment,

mental pain hurts forever.

I care so much, but this pain hurts deeper than I thought.

Being here doesn't feel right, these thoughts make me want to die.

To be away from it all.

You may not care, but I do!

I do!

Comments

alexrslz

I don't feel like this anymore. I have talked it out with a friend. Then one of my best friends ended up commiting suicide and left me some stuff that she thought would keep me from doing the same. That stuff was her One Direction things(don't judge) and she left me a whole notebook full of reasons for me not to. She is often my rock within those pages when I feel sad or blue and need a pick me up. She really saved me at a time when I felt low.

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