I Don't Want You To Hear ME

You see, the truth is that I've failed.

I tried everything that I could.

I wanted them to hear me.

But that's not what I should've wanted.

 

I screamed at the top of my lungs.

I wrote everything that I thought they would hear.

I made myself loud and clear.

But I couldn't even hear myself.

 

I wanted the world to hear my voice.

I wanted them to tell me how smart I was.

How deep, how insightful, how great.

But that's not my place.

 

I watched with an eagle eye.

Looked for every comment, every vote, every like.

I said profound things.

But it wasn't to help anyone but myself.

 

I wanted to be seen.

I wanted to be known.

I wanted my name to be recognized alone.

But it's lonely.

 

The truth is, if this is my life...

Then they shouldn't determine it.

Their opinions on my existence

Don't matter in the end.

 

I said to all of them

How I served my God

I said how I put myself below others

But I lied.

 

No matter how many people told me how great I was

My achievements were empty.

The compliments were hollow.

Because I was without the only One who matters most.

 

I'm on my knees now

I'm asking for His grace..

I'm begging to remember how it is to love

I want to know how to truly be selfless...

 

Though I've tried all my life

To be heard

That's what I yearned for,

Today, I don't want them to hear me anymore.

 

This voice is tainted with hurt.

This heart has been full of wrong intentions.

I don't want them to see this person on a pedestal up high.

Cast me down as the lowest of lows.

 

If only they will see Him.

Use my voice, Lord, so they can hear You

Don't let me make this about me

Let it all be for Your glory

 

'Cause I'm tired

Of chasing empty dreams across the sky

I'm tired of trying to be perfect

Just for them.

 

So I need You

To let them know

How wonderful You are

How warm Your embrace is

 

If You be willing,

Use my voice not for me to be heard,

But for You to be known.

That is the greatest honor.

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