I Hate This

I hate this.

I hate that a simple misunderstanding ruined everything.
I hate that you invalidated how I felt when I truly didn't know what to think.
I hate the fact that some words left my mouth that I shouldn't have even thought.
I hate that when you did the same thing more than once, I forgave you each time.
I hate that you ended us instead of fighting for us.
I hate that I can't even look at you for more than a second at a time now without feeling my heart being ripped out all over again.
I hate that the butterflies I felt whenever I was around you died at the hand of the knife that now cuts me open at the mere thought of you.
I hate that the memories of us aren't wrenching your brain and making your heart bleed like they're doing to me.
I hate that I'm dragging this out longer than necessary when I should know very well that it's probably over for good.
I hate that I was in denial before.
I hate that you won't even talk to me about any of it.
I hate that you've probably already moved on with your life while I'm left behind still hurting.
I hate that you probably don't even care.
I hate that I'm sitting here blaming myself when I know it's not all my fault.
I hate the saying "If something matters to you, fight for it."
I hate that this doesn't matter to you.
I hate that you're not fighting for us.
I hate that we're fighting for all the wrong reasons.
I hate that I'd probably give you another chance if you ever asked.
I hate this.

I just hate this.

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