I Know How It Feels

Fri, 06/20/2014 - 02:34 -- baye13

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I know how it feels.
To hate the food you put in your mouth.
So why not go without?
A day?
Barely eat anything?
Not a problem.
Because you can use it.
You need to lose that weight.
 

I know how it is.
To avoid the prying questions, innocent at first.
Whatdidyoueatforbreakfast?Didyouhaveanythingtoeatearlier?Youneedahamburger,okay?
 

I know how it feels when the questions turn suspicious.
Areyoueating?Howmuchdoyouweigh?DoyouknowIcanseeyourbones?
I know how it is to be more worried about body fat than nutrition.
Afewmorepoundsafewmorepounds.I’llbeskinnier=prettier.

 
I know that twisted pleasure to hear the doctors say you’re underweight.

Yes, that’s exactly what I want.

 
And I know how it feels to get in too deep and lose yourself
Inthenumbersofmeals,numbersonthescale,numbersofthecalories.

 
I know what if feels like to be trapped in a body you believe
To be fat and ugly and disgusting.

 
And I know what it feels like to look back at pictures, years later, and discover that a bag of bones is not what I wanted to look like.
That my body ate the muscle and the fat until I was hallow and haunted.
I was haunted.

 
Rise from the ashes, it can be done.

I know how it feels.

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