I like laying next to you

You are probably the only person I can confide in for almost everything that happens in my life

But, of course, the time we have together is sacred because....you have a girl at home 

She's waiting for you with the t.v blaring and your favorite movie in her hand

You tell me that the relationship is gettting stale and you just want to move on and I have been waiting patiently for that day to come

But you still hold onto her like the lost puppy you are

I wrap my arms around you and hope...pray that this time could last forever, so I will not have to give you up again

I shut my eyes and breathe in your scent; it's a pine scent 

I will be the first to admit that you have marked me with that scent and I have fallen prey to everything that makes you the person you are

You hold me closer and tell me that you want me

You say that soon we will be together, but I know better

That girl you leave almost every weekend is head over heels in love with you and you are just torn between what you want: the girl of your dreams that has finally made an appearance in your life and the girl that has always been there for you; the one that has seen you at your lowest points and helped you out of them

That second girl is me

I want you so bad that my dreams have become a movie theater and the only star in the film is you

I want you to stay with me until we are old

Unfortuantely, I know that you are at a crossraods

I watch you sit up and call your girl

She's crying and begging for you to come home

Yet again, you console until her tears disappear and you say you're on your way back

When you hang up you lean back to kiss my lips....then you are gone......yet again

I wish I could destroy the feelings I have for you, but they just never seem to stay away long

I want to look at you and not have my heart race or my stomach become a breeding ground for butterflies

I want to go back to the good ol days when we could touch each other and I wouldn't want to see how far we could go

Back then things were easy....back then feelings didn't block normal judgement

......But I love you

I love you with every part of my being and that angers me

Why must I love a player?

Why must I love someone who can easily play with two people's hearts?

Why did it have to be you?

I curl up on my bed and tears prickle my eyes until they find freedom and fall onto my pillow

Why did things have to be this way?

Why?

....... I just want to go back to the safer times