Fuck

I never realized how much I loved writing

Until I started researching a paper for an essay contest.

I felt immersed in the research

So excited to argue my point on the paper

Strongly supported by research

I was so engrossed in it I had to take a step back 

And remember that I have so much other work to do

Government studying

Physics homework

Calculus homework

Work that I don't truly enjoy

Aside from Calculus

But still

 

I never realized how much I missed my English classes

Where my voice could be expressed through my essays

Where my voice actually mattered

And here I am 

Preparing to study to become God knows what

Some career that I don't enjoy

Either in science or medicine

A step up from engineering 

But it's not journalism

Or some other cool writing career.

 

My friend has the right idea

She is bilingual and the best writer I know

She's so goddamn talented

And she has the chance to make her talent known!

I'm so happy and proud of her

Whenever she wins writing contests 

And has the chance to have her writing recognized

Sometimes I look at all she's done and wonder

"Maybe that could've been me 

If I had the chance to write like I want to 

and to make a career of what I love"

 

The only thing holding me back is money 

and my father

Who is supporting my college career

So if he doesn't approve of the major I choose

Tough luck

 

My lovely writer friend knows my predicament

And worries for me 

But she brings up the great point that not all hope is lost

I could always minor in English

Or get a sidejob as a journalist or something

Anything to put the joys of writing in my life

Hope isn't lost

When she brought up this point

It opened my eyes

It isn't hopeless

I don't have to suffer completely in a career I don't fully enjoy

I can still live

I can still have a voice