I Refuse to Allow Him

The first time I visited “the place” I imagine it being “a school” But not my type of school Well, that’s what your family wants you to believe as a child Witnessing barbwires Hearing bells ringing Disgruntle security guards who felt like babysitters And the one-way ticket to enter the other side... Metal Detectors In order to sit in a large room with many other visitors with My 7-year-old self with my grandma visiting my Uncle, with his jumpsuit on History repeats itself a few years later I never thought I would have to go visit a prison again Sitting in the back seat with my brother Starring at the window The sun starts to rise Gas stations pass by Stores pass by Driving until you see open land with Tall Black Gray walls rising up Even though I visited a prison before It still felt like my first time being there With, the babysitter guards and the metal detector ticket To the other side The visiting room As I watch my baby brother walk through the metal detectors I see a reflection of myself Walking through those detectors With socks on and taking off everything with metal Seeing my stepdad entering the visiting room Made me realize how much this visit means to him Because when we leave, he goes back to that cage Even in the visiting room, the convicts have limited freedom They can’t go near the vending machines Or even share bathrooms with visitors They must sit at the left side of the chair It is hard to believe that almost every male species In My family, Ends up this way or on the wrong path A few exceptions My dad dropped out of school but is going back now My cousin, unlike the others, just earned his bachelors Meanwhile, One uncle went to jail, He is a drop out and a Mamma’s boy A stepdad in jail an innocent man With no way of getting out My 17-year-old brother, who is on the road of dropping out of school Getting arrested and maybe ending up behind bars, A cousin who’s just thinks he’s “gangtsa”, Another cousin, who is quiet as a mouse but is a real sneak, Meanwhile, my dad dropped out of school but is going to back to school now A and my other cousin, unlike the others, just earned his bachelors But a 7-year-old 1st grader, My brother I refuse to allow him To be part of cycle with these male figures