I shouldn't have had that peanut anyways.

Wed, 12/10/2014 - 19:26 -- shel

I'm being stared down by a bag of peanuts

I'm angry with myself for opening them. 
I'm furious with the boy next to me
Sprawled across my seat
As though he had never been told 
To be ashamed of the space he takes up in the world. 
I eat one peanut. 
I'm on the far side of my seat
I've been a good girl
So I only take up half of it. 
Still his arm is touching mine and 
I want to scream 
Aren't I small enough
To make room for you in this life?
Why was I taught decorum?
Why was he taught that every place in the world
Welcomes his presence?
I look at those damn peanuts again. 
Those fucking peanuts, and I feel my waistband spanning more area than this whole flight
And I am not angry any more. 
I'm empty. 
The man crosses his arms
Thighs still bulging onto my seat
And I can't eat but
I feel like I can win. 
Because I am filled with knowledge
And empty space 
Space for more knowledge,
And he doesn't even know to shower before you travel. 

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