If A is for Abstinence, Then B is for Baby

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 22:11 -- ryecvi

How can you look at me?

How can you look at me and say “condoms are less than 50% effective”?

How can you look at me and say “it’s illegal to buy contraception under the age of 18”?

How the hell can you look at me and say “women are a lock, men are a key”?

 

Even in a classroom setting we are taught that our menstrual cycle is our dirty little secret. It’s fifth grade and the boys and girls are split up to learn about puberty separately. 

Don’t ask me why the gentle ears of the boys could not hear about periods or why the ever-maturing girls couldn’t find out about facial hair. 

In the videos they showed us the girls spoke in hushed, embarrassed voices. Not once were they comfortable about the situation, and so neither were we. All we did was shift awkwardly while the “older sister figure” found a pad for the “Saved by the Bell” reject. By the end of the video no one dared to ask a question. No one wanted to talk about the dreaded period. 

In high-school the Coach-turned-temporary-health-teacher hated talking about periods. He would gloss over that part or let us read it on our own. A constant reminder that my body taking care of itself was a shameful act to be disgusted by. 

I turn to a friend in Math. “Can I have a tampon?” I ask, full-and-brave voice. She responds with a whispered yes and sneaks it into my hand. I raise it in the air and ask “May I use the rest room?” Then, I parade out of the class with the tampie raised like an olympic torch of pride and womanhood. 

 

There’s at least one pregnant girl a year at my school. Usually more. 

One teen mother who has to walk past the faces of those who were supposed to educate her daily. 

One woman who did not have access to proper contraception. 

One girl who feels the need to hang her head in shame every day as she walks through the hall. 

Someone could have helped her. Could have helped us.

You could have guided us to sexual education facilities. You could have taught us how to use contraceptives properly. You could have told us the true statistics, rather than the false information the Department of Education provides. 

You could have swallowed your shame and your humility and done your job. 

You could have taught. 

 

As we read through our Abstinence Only education booklets, I notice that they are exclusively made for heterosexual relationships. There’s a partner activity where every girl must pair up with a boy (implying they are in a relationship). I raise my hand and say - very loudly - “but what if you’re a lesbian, Sir?”

I keep it up, too. 

Every activity I participate in for the next for years, I be sure to ask: 

“How does this translate to a relationship of same sex couples?”

“How can same sex couples stay abstinent until marriage if marriage is not equal?” 

“How would a lesbian couple have safe sex?” 

 

It makes each teacher more uncomfortable then the last. To that I say:

Good. 

 

Why do you let me feel shameful of my body?

Why do you let me go through the day ignorant of safe sex?

Why the hell do you feel comfortable lying to my face through every class about sexual practices? 

Why do you let this happen?

 

A teacher’s job is to better prepare me for life through his or her subject. 

You are not doing your job.

Unless the “Health and Sexual Education” curriculum states “students experience mass amounts of lies to reflect and better prepare them for the lies they will be told later on in life”. 

 

Maybe I missed that part. 

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