If I am being honest

Tue, 01/01/2019 - 20:12 -- am10954

I waited so long,
dreaming of your
warm embrace and
sweet whispers of
"I love you" against
the mosaic of coal
and ocean bottoms
swirling in the night sky
around the silver rock
glimmering through
it all.

But the truth is that
the closer day falls
to evenings with you,
the more I jump back
for mornings alone
walking down the
sunlight-kissed and teary
grass of crystal silence
of being alone with one's
thoughts.

Because I was scared.
I was scared of showing you
the curve of my soul
shining through the glimmer
of my chocolate eyes
that melt into puddles
when I look at you
under the moon's grin.
I was scared of reaching out
my hand to only find
the laughter of looming
shadow pine trees and
stains on the sidewalk
where you should be standing.
But I was more scared
of seeing you standing there
loving me back in every way
with twinkling laughter
and caressing words of warmth

Because sometimes getting
what you always wanted
makes you realize
that you never knew
what you truly wanted
in the first place.

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