If I was Sentimental

If I was sentimental

I would write about the look in your eyes when I draw hearts on your papers

How the exasperated tone of your voice contrasts with the softness in your eyes

How you stop me, but never erase my markings

 

I would write about the way you hold my pinky during chemistry

Sneaking in hand holding while listening to the teacher drone on about formulas

How you run your thumb over my hand in a silent caress

How you take my hand at every opportunity, declaring to all who see that I am yours

 

I would write about the warm feeling I get in the pit of my stomach

When you call me beautiful, princess, cutie, yours

The blush that stains my cheeks red

And the pleased smile that tries to make itself known on my lips

 

I would write about the beat of my heart as it increases in tempo with every touch of your lips to mine

The gasps that escape my lips as your touch overwhelms my quiet world

You are spontaneous and adventurous and everything I’m not

You have taken my orderly little routine and left it in disarray

You have taken my hand and led me into the light where I see all that I have repressed

Experiences for their own sake, childlike fun, laughter that hurts in the best possible way

 

If I was sentimental

I would write to you, my love, about the shroud of logic you have breached around me

Making me believe in things like love again

Making me see that perhaps that world isn’t as bad as I have made it out to be

That perhaps there are some things worth doing, people worth the hurt and heartache

You have taken my world of cold, concrete facts and planted seeds in the cracks that I thought no longer existed

That I had worked so hard to seal up

 

I have seen flowers grow out of these cracks, desperately fighting for every inch

They smell like you, my love, and remind me of happy days spent in your arms

I had invited you to get closer with the belief that you would never get close enough to hurt me

Oh, how wrong I was…

You are the one that can hurt me the most now

You hold the key to my heart and you don’t even know it

Please….please do not break me again

Handle my heart carefully as the pieces are glued together from previous fractures and oh, I don’t think I could handle another

 

My love, if I was sentimental…

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