I'm different, I'm just Different

I'm everywhere yet nowhere, I'm neither here nor there

I'm everybody yet nobody at all

I'm different 

I'm like a missing piece of a puzzle

That's been lost for God knows how long

But now I'm being put into random puzzles 

Trying to see where I fit best 

But when I being forced into place somebody notices that I'm different but puts me in anyway

Then as they push me and prod me into a place they doesn't t fit no one notices the difference between me and all the others 

Because they're too busy looking at the whole picture and not the individual pieces like a bag of Reese's pieces

So when they finally notice that something is amiss

They decide to trash the whole puzzle and I get lost again

I'm Different

I don't just wanna know what type of music you like, what's your favorite color or what's your favorite chic flick

I wanna know what you love, what you hate, what makes you tick

I wanna know what level of Hell you plowed through to get to this moment 

In hopes that I'll find someone who's different like me

Someone who has climbed all the way to the top of the fake crystal stairs of life 

But still had broken glass and thumbtacks stuck in their feet

Only to realize they're still on the first floor 

But I haven't found that person yet, I guess because I'm Different

I'm Different, I've seen more funerals than birthday parties

More caskets, than candles

More obituaries than birthday wishes

And it has caused me to see the world differently

I've been asking myself, the good are dying young so how should we describe the living

Good, Bad,....Different?

I guess I'd be the latter

Because while everyone else is eating the fruits of normalcy at the party of life 

I feel like I'm the person in the corner holding an empty platter

I'm different

I'm like a teenage mutant ninja turtle hiding in the shadows

Living in the dark but helping others in the light

But not enough light to see my face

For fear that the people I've saved will see me as the criminal and themselves as the victims

Even though the only thing I did was save them

But I guess I saved people who didn't want to be saved ......at least not by me

Because you see I'm different 

I read more than I speak 

I see more than I'm seen

I hear more than I say 

And I feel alone in a room full of people every single day 

And that Loneliness is like a purple pill 

A mixture of the red and blue pills that a man in dark glasses gave to me

Telling me to choose but instead of one, I picked both 

Because I wanted to stay in this reality to see how things end but I also wanted nothing more than to escape it

Because I am Different 

Which is not a blessing but a curse

That's gonna put me in a hearse 

Because I'm staring down the barrel of society's gun

And it's telling me to put on this mask or it'll shoot

But I'm gonna die either way

Cuz if I say no  imma get blown away

And if I say yes my soul is gonna be sucked away 

But I digress and tell the gunman I'm different 

And those words flow into the gun 

Dissolve the bullets 

And the gunman runs

Leaving me there holding society's gun

Tempting me to reload and pull the trigger

Making me the judge,jury, and executioner

And most people would get drunk in love

Drunk in love with the power they now hold in their hands

And that intoxication would put them in a trance 

Pushing them to look into a mirror, put up the middle finger, and say screw who I am and who I used to be, then they'd start pulling triggers

Not noticing the difference between you, me, he, she or it

They'd go from being Different to the Same

But I'm Different 

I don't get drunk because I'm allergic to the drink 

And I don't get intoxicated because I think too much to let it push me over the brink

So I pick up the gun and throw it to the side 

And I'm glad I did because if didn't 

The person reading this poem would've truly died.

And if the good are dying young, how do we classify the living when the person they truly are isn't even alive