i am in titanium cuffs locked by my inner thoughts
im chained to a brick wall with chains crafted by my dark past
i am bundled and gagged with rags weaved from my own fear and doubt
and i have lost control.
he tells me I'm beautiful
that he loves me.
he holds me day and night
cradles me in his firm embrace.
he wraps his warmth around me
and keeps me safe from myself
but when he gets too close...
when he smiles with his honey auburn eyes
my experiences flash before my eyes.
all i see is arguing
turns to yelling
turns to screaming
turns to hopelessness
turns to divorce
turns to heart brake
turns to substance
the first two lovers that i experienced in my life
proved to me all to early that
happily ever after
it was all a lie.
princesses were just stories.
in real life
one wouldn't possibly care for another.
and young as i was
i accepted the fact that
it was a myth that anyone could care for me
but now your here
and now its real
and i know you care for me
but over the years a brick wall formed.
brick by agonizing brick of heartbreak
cemented together with the soul purpose of protection
of promises to never let myself fall.
i have created the cuffs
and i have allowed myself to be imprisoned in them my whole life
only allowing them to get stronger.
and now when i find that possibly...love isn't just a fairy tale...
i cant get out
no matter how hard i try
in locked in
and I'm never escaping
I've been taken over
by my own fear.