Infinite

I was lost. I was so lost. I was lost in the dark and very far away from home. But I was lost with you. You and your lips and your blonde and your red and your heelies and your tattoos and your music and your books. We were so lost. But we searched desperately. We clawed and scratched until our fingers were bloody. We ran until our lungs burst. We gave away pieces of ourselves until we were nothing but skeletons. We searched and loved through the hurt until we were nothing but bruised and broken bones. Wasting away. Looking for home with the wind blowing through us like windchimes. We never quite knew what we were looking for. The world was big and scary and painful. It was tiny and oppressive and painful. It caged us, molded us, tore us down, broke our hearts. We fought and kicked and screamed. We gnawed at cage bars and looked at the stars. We looked for infinite and dreamed of someday. We sat on my rug and shared stories of deep hurts, abusive parents, first drinks, first sex, first loves, first boy and girl we weren’t supposed to want or have. We laid on the hoods of your junky cars and looked at stars and dreamed we could be among them and talked about things never spoken of. We were so lost. So broken. So hurt. We dreamed of better and cried for the end of the search for the infinite. We were lost with each other. We cried for the days when we no longer were. I cried for the day I realized I couldn’t find home in or with you. 

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