Involution

 

Had it been a year ago
I never would have dreamed of this me.
I would have been depressed
lying down -
broken's melodramatic, though. Cliché, even.
 
Had it been a year ago
I would have injured myself.
I would have used 
words, thoughts, nails -
bleeding myself dry to try and get rid of the asphyxiating cloud in my heart.
 
Had it been a year ago
I would have looked in the mirror and frowned at myself.
I would have run my eyes up and down
and bared the fangs I wished I had at what I saw -
ugly, weak for thinking so, pathetic for knowing that and not doing anything.
 
A year ago
I hated myself, no "would have"s about it.
 
But it is not a year ago
and I have learned.
I accept who I am
and who others are -
hate will never make me happy.
 
Now
I look in the mirror shamelessly.
Look at me, I'm beautiful
with a spark in my eye -
maybe invisible to everyone else, but it's that I see it that matters.
 
Now
I stand strong when others doubt me.
I say what I mean
and I am confident -
in me, in my convictions, in the world.
 
Now
I know that it gets better.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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