Irrecoverable Innocence

Sat, 09/26/2015 - 17:59 -- cnahin

Location

Los Angeles. California
United States

I am new to this world,

only been here five years.

Curious as to why Mama's always in tears?

Daddy moved out today.

 I want him to stay,

but Mama said that it is better this way.

 

Why is Mama never home?

I feel so alone.

I tuck my brother into bed,

while worries race through my head.

Like speeding cars that never stop,

A never ending rollar coaster that I want to get off.

 

He is too young to know.

I'll tell him once he grows.

 

I am twelve years old now.

I've had to learn how

to become a mother

and care for my brother.

My mother's addiction

caused a restriction

on her ability to see things as they are,

her ability to drive a car.

I put him to bed early.

He is wondering why.

It's because i cant let him see me cry.

 

I want to be older and stronger.

I don't know how to last much longer

The color in my eyes has faded.

My dreams have become dark and jaded.

All I needed was someone to care,

to love me, to need me, to always be there.

My brother always came first,

because I deserved the worst.

 

Life is moving to fast.

As the hours tick past,

silence screams in my ears.

Yet, no one can hear

how hard it is to breathe.

But, "She's so happy!" it seemed.

 

I am 17 now and things have changed.

My brother and i have now been saved.

My father returned,

only to learn

that his kids were neglected

by the one who's expected

to love you no matter what.

 

My brother was alright.

I saved him from the fights.

He never knew

what our mother used to do

He's too young to know.

I'll tell him when he grows

 

Now I can learn how to be me

and what a family is supposed to be.

 

I am older.

I am stronger.

I survived.

I am terrified no longer.

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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