Part I

 

It comes to you

 

The faces crowding out your view

The sweat starting to make your vision blurry

Mean nothing when it creeps up

And steals your smile

With a simple sneer

And a little smile

 

Part II

 

It always comes when I'm alone

Things seem distorted

And I become disoriented

A newborn baby trying to walk

I am

As

It

Just

Smiles

Back

At

Me

 

Part III

 

I've began to realize that it

Will always be there

A apperetion

Clinging unto youthful bliss

To feed its own infinite stomach

With my smile

I try to keep plastered on my face

 

I don't want it to paint my frame

With darkened claw marks and pen strokes

I didn't want it to keep me

From expressing

 

But it always eats on my vocal chords

Telling me

“If you were real you'd talk”

“If you feed me I'd leave”
A lie I knew

but couldn't understand

 

Part IV

 

It came to me when I Sat facing her

 

My face burning with sweat

My right arm shaking

My left leg taping

 

It held me down that day

Strange.

Before, it would hold me down

With metal spikes and yellow

Ropes keeping my mood

Blue with my words starting to slur

My eyes wanting to break out of my skull.

 

Part V

 

I wrote to it one day

My hands tracing

Over the rhetoric of a unknown

Before

I began

 

It didn't rip my hands of this time

It didn't tear my tongue out either

It just sat there smiling

Sinister

But it watched me make plans

My joy compressing into a little

White board

It would let me try

It always wanted me to try

Maybe it wanted to be renamed

With its stomach being filled

From the words I spoke to her