It was never the same

I HANG my head low
And shake it with shame
How will I live with what I have done
Can count on my fingers how many people Will forgive me
Here I sit with perpetual pain and misery
It hurts….My heart
Doesn't even feel like a heart at all
More like a ton weighing
Blood Pumping ball
That sits uncomfortably in my chest
All she wanted was a friend
And me,I'm selfish
My petty ways I'm heartless
I just sat there when she was in pain
All her kind acts done in vain
I.watched countless tears roll down her face
Watched them make fun of her every single day
Watched her run away from running at a rapid pace
Then she reached out to me
out of everybody
And me I'm selfish
my petty ways I heartless
I did nothing to help her situation
I sat there with her hand out
And didn't listen to what her crying was about
Because
My head was held to high and to see I looked down
And now
Now she doesn't walk these hallways
Now she doesnt wait
After school and stay
With me till my mom comes late again
Now it is she who looks down on me
The things I.regret

I felt responsible for That teenage.suicide
You wouldn't believe how hard I cried
At that funeral my face I did hide
how shameful am I
She's been gone for three months now
I swear her face must be painted on my eyelids
Cause her Face is a summary of all my dreams

If I could just more time see her face
do you know what I’d say
I’d say I’m sorry
Sorry that my shoulder was too cold for you to cry on it
Sorry that I treated like you're feeling did not exist
Sorry that you were a victim of my unnecessary cruelty
Sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me to be
Sorry that i didn't treat you like you treated me
Ever since you, it happened
I couldn't stop thinking
about how you're shoulders kept sinking
‘bout how your baggy eyes seemed so recent
and how you never stopped believing
that I'd come around

and I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me
for all that I’ve done, for everything

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
Our world
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741