Pain. 

It's undeniable, so true.

Laying on the bathroom floor-fighting.

Fighting.

It's so hard to go on when darkness

encloses your horizons and all you can see is

Grey.

A mix of the best and the worst,

no variation, no diversity.

No motivation.

Only deprivation.

Deprived of

everything you feel you deserve,

ashamed of,

your volatile and totally obscene behavior.

It took everything- and now,

you feel yourself slipping further and further and what's worse

is that you have no desire to return,

no genuinity.

But one day you awaken

longing for that emotion

because it's the realest you have ever felt.

So you pick up a pencil,

and everything comes back.