John John

let me tell you our story
well, I don’t know your story
but I know mine
and I want to tell you why I ran away  
 
i know it’s been a year
but there’s something you should know about me
i’ve never been in love
i’ve never dated
i’ve never even kissed  
 
i bet you didn’t know
that nobody knows that  
 
there are things you should know about me, though
that you already know:
i’m a flirt
i’m a fake
i’m a liar  
 
i guess you don’t deserve me
but i really wanted you to  
 
i really did  
 
did
it’s too late now  
but I still want to tell you our story  
 
remember when julia and i sat with you at breakfast?
you probably don’t
well, if it wasn’t for julia's outgoing persona
i would never have met you  
 
remember when you asked to sit with me and alissa?
do you remember that?
maybe?
but I think that’s when I started to like you
and I think that’s when you started to like me  
 
remember when we went to the movies together?
i thought it was a date
maybe it wasn’t  
 
because remember when stephanie sat next to us?
and she squealed with laughter 
at the jokes I never will understand
she could have been like me:
a flirt
a fake
a liar  
 
i’m too stupid to see that, you see
i’m too stupid to read signs that you were giving me  
 
because remember when I left the movie early?
and you asked me if I was okay?
and I lied
and said I was just scared of a movie with clowns?  
 
did you believe that?
did you know what I did right after I left?  
 
i walked around worrying about what happened
what would have happened if I stayed
would I still be third-wheeling?
or would I have had my first kiss?  
 
maybe neither
i might just be desperate
actually, who am I kidding?
i am desperate  
 
and maybe I misled myself  
 
do you remember when we were at dinner
and you pulled my hair away from my face
and said I was beautiful
you called me beautiful  
 
you don’t remember that?  
 
i understand
it’s really not your fault, you see
i’m the one who walked away  
 
and i’m so sorry that I did, john
i’m so sorry 

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