Why does she sit like she has a stick up her ass?

Because I care about my posture. And maybe, ever-so-infinitesimally maybe, I value my education...However perplexingly, pitifully, "gay" that may seem. 

Face it. I'm smart. 

Why does she always squint like that? And cruch her face like that? Who does she think she is?

Becuase I can barely see, even in those stylish, sagacious spectacles. But your sufericiality is dumb apparent.

Face it,  I'm sincere.  

And why does she dress like she's six? Pig-tails and thigh-highs, are you kidding me?

Face it, I'm cute.

I'm 5-feet-of-mean and 100 pounds of sheik, sleak, stupendous intellectural fury, wrapped in the daintist, darling-ist, pakcet.

My face isn't painted on. Even if that heresy were true, let Raphael be the only Master who could scultpted these immaculate curves and impressionable contours. 

And, if Nefertiti were alive, she'd have wings like these, and perhaps rule so naturally, so regally, as I do. 

Of course, if she could refrain from such blashemous inquisitions as to come herself to me, and such grotesquely crude, rude, an calamitously cold condescentions; if she could open her eyes to see me-- myself-- all my boundless beauty, hidden by this thin veener of bunny-shyness and nervous-tension...

She too could be flawless.