I still remember the very first time I met you:
We were just kids then, who believed in the idea of forever and always.
And we were just two kids then, who believed in the whole:
“It's you and me against the world” sort of, kind of thing.
And as we got older, we only existed within our own little world.
Never stopping to care about any of the big consequences.
We used to have late night conversations about our future
(that we really had no idea about).
And then making up premature promises
(on the notion of never leaving each other).
Because we, honest to goodness, believed there was no one else
(that could possibly be better).
I always woke up to: “Good morning, beautiful”'
and you always fell asleep to: “Good night, love.”
But now, it is all a ghost of a memory
that I don't know how to bring back.
We keep looking at things from a bird's eye point of view;
disconnecting ourselves from the present moment.
Believing that if we could fly far away enough we won't have to
face the fact that reality might not be as good as our imagination.
And the older we get, the more hes-i-tant we find ourselves becoming.
We refuse to acknowledge the underlying meanings of our feelings.
Because there are still just those two kids who fell in love
almost five years back, who believed in forever and always.
Because you don’t understand how I only want to hear
that laugh that I fell in love with: I fell in love with you being happy.
But within those moments that I find you vulnerable,
I fall deeper in love with all the layers’ underneath.
And I have loved you too damn much
for you to not give a single damn about me.
And so, help me God: If this love ever ends
without me being able to open your eyes to
this unending love that I can never
seem to put into words.
And like a fool on a suicide mission,
I am willing to fight for you,
even after being battered and bruised.
But you won't even take the time to stand up for me
because you are too busy on your knees begging for her
to even take a step with you when I would gladly walk
through the nine circles of hell with you and back
If only it meant being able to walk alongside you
for a little taste of pure utter heaven.
Everyone said we were just kids being kids
who don’t understand what love means.
As if there was a golden age within a golden hour
when we would know what exactly it is that we feel.
So then can you please explain to me
this feeling inside my chest
that I can’t get rid of no matter how much
I try to forget all the memories
and how much missing. you. hurts.
Because everyone is saying
I am a complete and utter idiot
for trying with my entire heart and soul
to scratch and claw my way to every bit of distance
to get even the tiniest bit of success.
But you had me intoxicated on you
from the very first time we met.
You promised me you would never leave
but I still find myself lost without you by my side.
And I don't know how to bring you back.
But I’ll wait. Because YOU said we would wait.
No matter how long it would take. We would wait.
And wait. And wait. For each other.
Yet you still find ways for leaving me behind
until I fade away into the past where I always reside.
We’re still just two kids
who have no clue where we’re going.
Playing these stupid,
stupid games with each other.
Playing by different rules.
We play with no boundaries.
No red exit sign telling us where to leave.
Because we can’t seem to leave.
So, there is just you. And me.
And our petty little games.
I'm sick and tired of these games.