Kayla

 

If I could tell you that the moment you were bornI smiledwasn’t even in the room but felt ityou came into our lives like a light in a dark cavelike water in the desert like the moon when the day’s been too long you were born with an intelligence that even you can’t seecheekslike beautiful brown mountainscarved by god’s waters to perfectionhuge welcoming eyesthat twinkle with trickery a mouththat gets of plenty work and hair brownlike the dust that collects on pyramids if i could i'd tell you That I can still see you now sleeping on the edge of our mothers bedworrying yourself to exhaustion over other peoples problemsmy name a whisper on your lipsyour mind going on rerun of every person you saved that dayand you don’t even know how proud I am of you If i could talk to you openlyjust for a moment i’d ask you why you find a need to fill the silenceyour continuous words create barriers and form hoops between you and learning And you make up your own obstacle course Course you don't know thatI pray that one day it all comes easy for youThat one day you can multiply multiplications (equations) like its ice cream Gone before you know it If I could channel the the letters to form the words i'd scream that I can see the light you bring to a room when you smilethat youare everything we ever needed in our homethat when you're gonewe sit in silencecan’t think up any words to saycause you’ve molded our world around youand burrowed the compass in your heart so without youwe are lost I'd tell you that your hair is like spicy chocolatenot everyone can handle itbut people with any smartslove itand i’d pray that one day you know how beautiful you are if i could i’d tell youbut if i told youyou wouldn’t believe meseesomeone got there firstwhisperedtheir truth in your ear I tried to drag them from yourfrom your shoulderbut i was too lateand theyalready taught their songto your eardrums you began to beatthe song of inadequacyto your brainand now you believe it that you are truly inadequateyou will never be inadequateyou lack nothingyou are a starand not just one of many you are the onethe one star every other star attempts to shine as bright as  if i have to i’d tell you every dayfor the restof your lifethat you are beautifulif i have toi’ll whisper this songin your ear every night as you sleepto rewrite the one they taught you if i have to i’ll rewrite your whole storypencil beautiful in between the bindingsand put a bright star on every corner so that you can find your way to the next pagei’ll read it to you every night if i have to i’ll tell youeven thoughit’s hard to tell youtell you thati wanna be there when you turn 13 have a conversation about what its like growing upi wanna tell you that its not that hard going to middle schoolthat high school's nothing to fearand if they dare make it scarytell them that your big sister will be thereI wanna berate your boyfriend when he comes to pick you up for a date and most of all I wanna know will you miss mewill you even know that I'm goneremember the times we cried together Will you remember when I wrapped you in my armsin my bedwhen mom was goneWill you remember when we'd have dance parties in your bedroomWill you remember your big sisterI hope that one day you'll find solace in being aloneAnd I pray  that you'll know as well as i dothat you are beautiful. 

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