Ladies and Gentlemen, The Show Is About to Start

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I'm an odd one,
If there's anhng I have leared these past 1 years
It's that.

 

I realized recently
Though
Something peculiar, if you will

That when it comes to my body
Bruises are hard to come by
Scars, however, are in abundance

 

And I come by these scars
In the stupidest ways possible

 

Duck, duck, goose
The dishes
Stepping over a knee high fence
Moving equipment around
Slipping on rocks
Scratches from the dogs

 

All stories etched into my skin
Different shapes
Different sizes
Different colors

 

The bruises though
Those settle deep in my bones
And the slightest touches remind me where they are

 

But they rarely surface

 

And lately I've been wondering
What that says about me.

 

I get hurt by the stupidest things,

 

Small comments made by even smaller boys
Hearing about the things I haven't been invited to
My brother
Sophomore year of high school
Senior year of high school
This summer,

 

And all I do is
Sulk
Play it over in my head
Tell myself everything I wish I had the courage to say
Write
Distract myself
Ignore it
Sometimes there are tears

 

But the smile always falls back onto my face
Distracting everyone from the clutter behind it
Because no one knows what to do when they don't see it

 

And I'm starting to think
That I'm scared

 

That I'm scared
That the moment I pull that curtain back
That when the smile doesn't fall back into place

 

Everyone will see
How over these past 19 years
My skeleton has been painted
Black and blue and purple

 

Because I've always been hurt by the stupidest things

 
 
 
 
 
 

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