Learning to Accept

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f you gave me the chance I’d run right back into your arms
Follow the same deathly trap as I have a thousands times before
If only you said you were sorry I wouldn’t hesitant
All I want is you mother, can’t you see that?
 
I’ve wanted one for seventeen and a half years
But that never made you change
I’ve tried to tell you the abuse had caused me too many scars 
But you wouldn’t listen
I’ve tried to tell you that I need a mother
But you were too busy with your boyfriends
I tried over and over so don’t you dare tell me I didn’t
You just gave up on us, left your daughter alone
 
Several times a week, I had to take care of myself
Cook myself meals because you were never there
Where were you when I needed you?
Where was my mother, the one that should care?
 
As much as I hate it, I’m related to you by blood
You’re my mother, nothing can ever change that
But you’re nothing but a title on a slip of paper
 
10 months with no talking claiming it’s “G-d’s will” 
Well all I say is fuck that!
 
You were never there
You never even cared
You’re just my mentally ill mother
And I can never change that

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